I presented at HYBCO 2021, a small but really nice online event that focuses on Aftercare with additional activities to help soften con-drop.
Besides the other awesome presentations (especially the Mindfuck one), I thought I'd share my notes:
The notes are very rough and I may edit them later to improve. I'm sorry!
What is a brat?
Sometimes defined as: "Someone who wants to be put in their place by a dom in the form of discipline because they’ve acted bratty, acted out, or misbehaved"
Someone who likes to play with resistance or challenging the dominant for more intense repercussions.
Can a dominant counter-brat?
In theory yes, you could.
Why should you tame them? What's in it for you?
What is the goal?
It helps to discuss the goal of a brat/session before you start.
- To win? What is winning? What are you winning?
- To lose? Who wins what?
- Who has which goals.
- Remind each other that the purpose is for both to have fun!
For the brat this is usually the tools used for taming. For example not using 'easy triggers'.
For the tamer this is usually how far a brat is allowed to go in their resistance.
Tools of the brat
- "Make me"
- "Is that everything?"
- "Hmmm you think so / You think?"
- Searching for loopholes
- "You should praise me for bratting / I'm doing this for you"
- Maybe (to a yes set)
Tools of the tamer
- Confidence - I'm allowing this to happen, everything is going according to plan, you have no chance to resist.
- Force - Mental: using powerful triggers or physical: pushing down
- Fun/Punishment - Spanking, lines.
- Denial - If you don't comply, you won't get X.
- Make the alternative better - Of course you can resist if you like, of course it's even nicer to just relax...
- Less loopholes -> Direct/explicit commands.
- Exploit their weaknesses (what are they weak to?)